McDaniel:Folks, Be Nicer - Or | Word on the Street
by Douglas McDaniel
Jul 29, 2007 | 310 views | 0 0 comments | 3 3 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Word on the street is ugly, especially when it comes to baseline of public discourse we reached after the little Town of Telluride raised its pirate flag over the Bush/Cheney impeachment debate.

The street lingo, as it exists online, is particularly ugly, coarse, beyond just polarized. Terms such as “rabid,” “vociferous lunatic-extremist fringe group” and “liberal-minded yellow cowards” have been thrown at the Telluride Town Council and supporters of the citizen-driven initiative, and that really hurts. Makes one want to take up terms like “Bushite,” indicating someone with unconditional love for a Texan with millennial zeal in the pursuit of oil-driven global warfare, in order to respond, and honestly, I’m feeling queasy about the whole thing.

I think the town should back off, turn its back on the issue and start waxing up those ol’ snowboards again. Everyone should smile and spend a lot more time thinking about improving customer service. That’s all. Town Council should change its vote – in fact tear up the “impeach” document, and keep its mouths shut. Forget sending it to a vote of the people, because in this secluded, insulated coven of pinko fringe groupies, we all know how that vote would turn out. We’d only get more nasty treatment, and then we’d all feel more poorly about the war than we already do.

How can we, sitting way high up on this mountain perch, ascertain whether the war is bad or good? We seem to be immune from war up here, and a long, long way from the truthiness of our times. We don’t know if there were any weapons of mass destruction from way up here. Heck, we can’t even be sure if there was actually any oil in Iraq, either. Local prices for gas indicate there’s now a shortage, of some kind, so who knows?

In calling for an impeachment, the town is endorsing a long and brutal and quite frankly embarrassing process that, like it did for President Bill Clinton, would simply add an asterisk to the presidential legacy of President Bush, but wouldn’t stop the really ambiguous – if yes, unpleasant – things going on out there. At least not right away. In addition, a lot of winter visitors who are at least partially involved like to relax from conducting oil-driven global warfare with millennial zeal while they are here. They spend good money for their vampire time, and when a stressful war is going on, finding quality vampire time is worth its weight in Amex gold.

Since Telluride’s economy, as it serves the top tier of our society, is often the beneficiary of trickle-down war proceeds obtained with millennial zeal, we should back off. Give the guys a break. Vampire time is sweet (while it lasts). Instead, someone (not me) should write another petition. One that is far simpler. One that just asks for Bush’s resignation, as well as a similar memo from the draconian puppet master behind him. Right away. They should just quit. Leave. Vamoose. This is, after all, an emergency.

Time to go to the bullpen. Before it gets scarier than it already is.

I know this because I am a liberal, with a liberal arts degree, and while having that yellow stripe tattooed to my backside I took a class on suicide cults.

Based on this reading, studying and so on, I’d have to say, folks, we got another Waco on our hands.

The interesting phenomenon about suicide cults is their leadership, how it reacts to any challenges to their belief system. Due to the blindness induced from being indoors with too much high-octane religious fervor in the room, a demigod millenarian prophet tends to refute all outside input when backed into a corner. Absolutism is the toxin, here, after all. As suicide cults are confronted with more and more contrary information, they become more and more convinced the evil-doing they are railing against exists, and it’s the information bringers gathered outside who become bogeymen, or, in this case, “traitors.”

This is why the “Bushites,” in terms of their lingo, are slamming so much bacon from the “traitor” tray right now. The contrary information is incredibly intense. Their reactions are equally intense. At the White House, they are surrounded on all fronts, just like Waco, by Congress, by a whole competing field of Hillarys and Obamas, by a majority of the electorate, by lurking terrorists, by a United Nations worth of nations, too, as well as mad-bloggers, gay bongers and fake news talk-show hosts. And now, by yellow-bellies in Telluride. Jeez, what a surrounding this is.

In the 1960s the radicals all got together and circled the Pentagon by joining hands in order to, supposedly, exorcize the demons within (Hah! Nice try). However, that would be a dangerous move in this case. The Bush Administration, as well as the Bushites, are in such a strong state of denial, based on the below-the-belt, guttural tone of their “just drink the Kool-aide” arguments, it’s my humble opinion (based on my liberal arts degree and knowledge of suicide cults) that if the White House were circled in that way, the man would press the button, Jim Jones style, just to prove his talking points on the need for global warfare with millennial zeal.

If that happened, Telluride would hardly be sustainable. No, it’s better to just send a letter asking, politely, for Bush’s resignation. He needs the downtime. In fact, they could take a fifth of the funding for the war and build a Holy City of Light on the plains of Texas so he could reside there, like a Napoleon in exile, for the remainder of his daze. Then we’d just uncircle the wagons and leave him be.

It’s a matter of health and safety.

History could just go by and in coming years he could age gracefully, like a Richard Nixon oozing with sentimental authority, like a fallen hero who can still appear on talk shows (in times of national need), and we could all just say, “Thanks for the vampire time. It was, like, Dubya Dude, sweet.”

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