After Mark Cuban’s Rage, Drug Testing for Owners?
by Gus Jarvis
May 13, 2009 | 1444 views | 4 4 comments | 15 15 recommendations | email to a friend | print
It’s mid-May and I am not immersed in the Stanley Cup playoffs like I usually am because, well, the Avs were terrible this year and those no-good Red Wings are good as ever. I, like the rest of Colorado, am caught up in the heated post season of the NBA…and for damn good reason – the Nuggets are contenders to be world champs and their tough play is bringing high drama to the game.

Now I write this on the morning after the Nuggets fell to the Mavericks 119-117 in Dallas in game 4, avoiding an embarrassing sweep. I will give the Mavericks props on battling in last night’s game after their team owner and brainless man-child, Mark Cuban, embarrassed everyone associated with that city’s Saturday game three where the refs blew a non-call and let Carmelo Anthony cash a three to win the game.

At that point, the billionaire owner clad in blue jeans and T-shirt unleashed his fury on the refs with red-faced screams and vulgarity. Then he pushed a cameraman out of the way and followed it up by going over to Kenyon Martin’s mother in the stands and told her that her son was a “thug” or a “punk.” (Two conflicting reports.)

Cuban stereotypically called K-Mart a “thug” because of the role he plays on Denver’s team. K-Mart is, to use the hockey term, an enforcer on the court. It’s K-Mart’s job to be rough and play harsh and tough defense. That’s why he is there. Not a thug, an enforcer.

Remember here, this is the owner of the Dallas Mavericks who called K-Mart a thug to his mom. A billionaire madman. Violently crazed. A lunatic. Yes, the call was bad, but show some moxie here, little man. Bad calls happen. It just happened at the worst of times for Dallas.

Of course, us Denver fans loved it. Watching Melo cash a three pointer to win the game in the face of this lunatic owner brought tears of laughter to my eyes. I still laugh – even after last night’s loss. What an embarrassment. I am so glad he is not the owner, presiding over a team I admire.

What he should have done was take the example set forth by Dirk Nowitzki, who left the court in a hurry with his head down. What he did in the locker room, like throwing chairs, punching the wall and kicking trashcans in a complete rage, we will never know because he did it in the privacy in his own locker room. Sounds simple, huh? Well the man-child billionaire owner wasn’t smart enough to take that route. Now he must live with this embarrassment.

Can you imagine the shame hangover Cuban must have felt on Sunday morning, Mother’s Day of all days? To watch video on every sporting news network of you, an owner of a professional sports team, throwing a fit of rage in front of the world and then stooping to the level to talk trash to an opponent’s mom? Add that to the fact that K-Mart then told The Denver Post the next day that he will handle Cuban face-to-face and that he never backs down to anyone except the law. I can’t imagine the loathing Cuban felt that Sunday morning. It came down on him, for sure.

The serious part of this spectacle was the example Cuban set for other Dallas fans who jumped on his rage bandwagon. After Monday night’s Denver loss, a good group of fans turned ugly by throwing things onto the court, a beer thrown on K-Mart’s mom and an over-the-top disgusting and dangerous scene for every player and fan near the court. Denver Coach George Karl told The Post that using the word “hostile” didn’t quite describe the scene.

“I would probably use an uglier word than hostile,” Karl said. “I don’t think [the fans] were very classy.”

Lets face it, the fans wouldn’t have been as bad had it not been for Cuban and his actions the game before. He set the example that it is OK to be classless in his arena. Since Cuban has a certain amount of control on how his fans act, it would seem, maybe there should be some sort of drug testing for owners as well.

Here baseball players are being scrutinized for the example they are setting for young players by using steroids or human hormones. The actions of team-owners should get the same scrutiny.

So, to be stereotypical of Cuban, with his tight T-shirts, slick hair and fat wallet (and because of his uncontrollable rage Saturday evening), he must be on something. When money is the game, blow is often the middle name. Who knows? Or maybe he too is ’roiding to catch a certain woman’s eye and what we saw on Saturday night was a classic case of ’roid rage? Could be.

So I would propose that if Cuban or any owner for that matter who wants to sit courtside next to his team, he or she must submit to a drug test before entering the arena. Clean pee? Have a seat. Loaded with coke or steroids? Go have a seat in your cushy box and do what you want out of sight. We wouldn’t want the fans to follow his drug-induced actions if that is the source of his rage.

Boy, with all of this drama, I am really beginning to love NBA playoff basketball. What a hoot.
Comments-icon Post a Comment
May 15, 2009
How bout testing "Watch" employees??? probably have to fire them all... I hope the Lakers beat the Rockets just so the Nuggets can spank them in the next round.
May 14, 2009
Gus, when are you going to learn that those of us who live in Telluride don't care about sports, especially on a national level.

keep ranting, maybe somebody will read it.
The H-Diesel
May 14, 2009
Great article and insight Gus, as always. In Webster’s 13th edition under Coke-Head, there is a picture of Mark Cuban. The only reason he has money is due to one of the biggest blunders in American corporate history- Yahoo buying his “” for $5.9 billion in stock- what a joke. When Cuban was discussing a bid to buy the Cubs last year, the MLB owners told him to pound sand. NBA should have done the same thing. Bye bye you Texan piece of trash and watch your back…Kmart is lurking…


The Diese
May 14, 2009
Drug testing owners eh gus? i like it.